Filmmaker Matthew Vaughn obviously isn’t ready to get out of the spy-centric action-comedy business.
Best known for the “Kingsman” franchise, Vaughn has followed up 2021’s lackluster “Kingsman” prequel, “The King’s Man,” with the similarly meh-ish “Argylle.”
Venturing further into the comedy spectrum than the “Kingsman” movies, “Argylle” aims to be a keep-you-guessing affair about an author of espionage novels who finds herself in the deadly world of actual spies.
After a while — and despite all the big names in its cast — you’ll wish you’d found yourself somewhere else.
Why is Bryce Dallas Howard’s Elly Conway of such interest to a community of men and women who trade in dangerous, world-shifting secrets? Because, throughout four novels — with a fifth close to completion — plot developments have paralleled real-world events. Thus, of course, they want to know what she’s about to write.
On a train to visit her mother, Ruth (Catherine O’Hara), who is eager to help her finish her latest work, Elly encounters a long-haired, bearded man reading one of her novels based around the fictional, James Bond-like spy Agent Argylle (Henry Cavill). After pretending he’s just realized whom he’s sitting across from, Sam Rockwell’s Aidan informs Elly that operatives are aboard the train with instructions to get her and that she’s going to have to trust him to survive.
Elly —with her cat, Alfie, tucked into her cat-pack backpack — soon is under constant danger, with Aidan fending off threats and “Argylle” feeling like a poor man’s version of director David Leitch’s 2022 action-blast, “Bullet Train.”
The operatives are there on behalf of the nefarious man running the nebulous spy organization The Division, Ritter (Bryan Cranston), who is growing tired of the failures of those who serve him.
Elly and Aidan’s adventure continues with a jaunt to London — where more danger awaits. The situation grows even more complicated for Elly when she finds reason to fear Aidan may not have her best interests at heart, leading to an encounter with her parents.
Cranston (“Breaking Bad”) and O’Hara (“Schitt’s Creek”) get reasonable amounts of screen time, but that can’t be said for most of the other supporting players. We get relatively little of John Cena, Samuel L. Jackson, Ariana DeBose, Richard E. Grant and music star Dua Lipa (“Barbie”).
As the man playing the lead figure in Elly’s book and her imaginary personal coach of sorts when she needs to conjure the mental energy to be brave and strong in certain high-stakes situations, the dashing Cavill is more of a key figure. Still, you should expect only so much of the star of “Man of Steel” and “The Witcher,” as well.
That makes one of the movie’s promotional posters, featuring most of the aforementioned names but with Cavill and Lipa out front, fairly misleading. Hey, the movie trafficks in a world of lies and half-truths, so it all seems fair, but be aware you’re getting Howard (the “Jurassic World” movies) and Rockwell (“Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”) primarily.
That’s one of the issues with “Argylle.” Neither lead is a particularly dynamic performer — although Rockwell brings a lot of personality to Aidan, it’s mainly of the laid-back variety — and their chemistry isn’t all that strong.
Written by Jason Fuchs (“Wonder Woman”), “Argylle” boasts the kind of premise that intrigues. However, pretty early on in the movie, you realize what must be happening — at least if you rule out something supernatural or that Elle’s living within a computer simulation, and these days it’s hard to rule out those types of plot devices — and it’s pretty silly. That isn’t to say you’ll see every little twist and turn coming, but this is a movie that doesn’t exactly showcase a real gift for sleight-of-hand trickery.
The direction by Vaughn, whose stronger efforts include 2010’s “Kick-Ass” and 2011’s “X-Men: First Class,” is especially disappointing. Instead of compensating for the movie’s inherent weaknesses by making “Argylle” a taut, fast-paced experience, he gives it a lot of slack and lets it linger. This is a movie that feels longer than its fairly meaty two-hour-and-20-minute runtime.
Vaughn and his collaborators deliver some OK action sequences and a few eye-catching visuals, including a nifty smoke show created late in the proceedings by Elly and Aidan, but there’s nothing here you haven’t seen done before and done better.
“Argylle” has some fun moments, too, but this is a comedy that, while sometimes smile-inducing, is rarely if ever laugh-out-loud funny.
A few of those smiles come courtesy of Chip, the real-life cat of the director’s wife, supermodel Claudia Vaughn (née Schiffer), that plays Alfie. Of course, when you wish a spy action-comedy gave you more of the cat, that, too, is an issue.
Vaughn fans should stay past the brief initial closing credits for a little something extra. Everyone else can dart for the exits.
‘Argylle’
Where: Theaters.
When: Feb. 2.
Rated: PG-13 for strong violence and action and some strong language.
Runtime: Two hours, 19 minutes.
Stars (of four): 2.
