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First Vaccinated Outing Kind Of A Bust

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ORLAND PARK, IL—After spending over a year restricting their trips away from home to only those that were necessary, the Myers family informed reporters Friday that their first vaccinated outing was kind of a bust. “It took forever to get the kids out the door, then our table wasn’t ready, then the food arrived late, and most of it was overcooked,” said Emilie Myers of the family of five’s trip to a local Dave & Buster’s, which began to fall flat almost immediately after their 7-year-old started throwing a fit over not being able to go to P.F. Chang’s instead, then continued to decline when their car nearly got hit in the parking lot and scared everyone. “It’s been a few weeks since Alan and I got our second vaccines, and we figured it would be okay to go out, but I don’t think it was worth it. We wanted to stop for ice cream on the way home for the kids’ first one since before the pandemic started, and then they were out of almost everything. We planned to go for a walk, but by then everyone was so cranky we just wanted to go home. And don’t even get me started on Alan fighting with the hostess over the mask thing. What a nightmare.” At press time, 13-year-old Sadie Myers was beginning to exhibit symptoms of Covid.